When my period arrived on Monday, I said hello to it. And I mean I literally said, out loud, "Hello, friend!" To blood in the toilet. I love having a regular period. I have no plans to have another baby, but I celebrate my fertility. It's a sign that my body is healthy on the … Continue reading Menstruating Body-Positive
Last week, a few of my favorite Internet people started a post-Easter "reset." There was a lot of talk about "no sugar." "X number of days without sugar." Getting back "on track." When I saw this sprout up in my online space, I knew it wasn't something I wanted to participate in. And yet… There was a … Continue reading The Mindfulness Trap
My mother often tells the story of how I learned to tie my shoes. I was five, and very stubborn. I was determined to learn to tie my shoes once and for all. I struggled for most of a day to get my laces to do the loop-circle-pull thing that my parents made look so … Continue reading “I got it on the first try!”
"Recovery is hard." "It's hard, but it's worth it." "You're going to relapse. Recovery is hard." I see this kind of rhetoric all the time, and it frustrates me. I can't stand the idea that recovery is hard. In fact, believing "recovery is hard" and that relapse was inevitable kept me from recovering for years. … Continue reading Recovery Is Not Hard
A good night's sleep has been hard to come by recently. Parenthood isn't restful. Who knew? Life feels overwhelming, and a well-worn neural pathway makes me want to take it out on my body. As I stand in front of the bathroom mirror my physical self is suddenly excessive. Too soft, too uneven, too loose, … Continue reading Stand
So far I've been writing about recovery with a kind of long-ago-and-far-away detachment. As though disordered thoughts and behaviors are all in my past, and I am now a totally relaxed, happy, enlightened eater. I still have not-nice thoughts about food and my body, but for the most part, it's true that things are great! … Continue reading What Did I Do Last Night?
When I threw out all the diet rules and food lists, I felt unmoored. Eating when I was hungry made sense. But what am I supposed to eat now? How do I know what to eat? Only one guideline made sense: asking, "What do I want to eat?" I had taken myself to the grocery … Continue reading What Do I Want to Eat?